Adult Bangla Sms Part : 01
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....
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Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello!Im a little alien called Kan.I have taken the form of a mobile
phone- your phone.And during this message I have been having sex with
your thumb!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I once had a ONE-2-ONE night with a VIRGIN.She teased me till i got an ERICKSON.sucked me till my face went ORANGE till i busted my load of SEIMEN over her NOKIAS.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 69 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks & sex appeal, remain silent & report 2 my bedroom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.
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GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
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I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
American students say : people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone. Amitabh bachan in KBC
Question for 10 lac to Sardar jee
What is the colour of your wife's underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue
Sardar jee : Can i phone a friend?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a
woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a
demonstration?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So
open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX ! A girl for First the time was handling a boy's cock. After some time, some drops
came out, she asked wat's that? The boy said:Yeh Khushi ke AANSOO hai.
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Niple niple little star ...can i suck you in my car ...up above the breast so
have...always milky never dry...let me touch it never shy...in the bra it
will be dry ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What is a kiss?
A: Very simple, its an enquiry at the top floor about the vacancy in the ground.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I went to the Madras,
I fucked a lady on the grass...
When I insert inch One,
She says its none...
When I insert inch Two
She says its few...
When I insert inch Three,
She says its free...
When I insert inch Four,
She says its i want more...
When I insert inch Five,
She says its just like a knife...
When I insert inch Six,
She says its fix...
When I insert inch Seven,
She says i m feeling in a heaven...
When I insert inch Eight,
She says its great...
When I insert inch Nine,
She says its hole of mine...
When I insert inch Ten,
She says are you a donkey or a man...
Submitted By : Syed Mohsin Ali, Submit
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex is like a restaurant, sometimes u get good service, sometimes bad service, sometimes no service and many times u hav 2 be happy wid self service.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If u hav 2 eggs between ur 2 legs u r a man but if u hav 4 eggs
between ur 2 legs don't think u r a superman someone is F**king u
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did u know meaning of WOMEN?
"W"ant
"O"ne
"M"an for
"E"very
"N"ight
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman married
a one legged man.
She wrote to her
mother:
"My husband only has
ONE FOOT".
Her Mother
replied:
"You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl to Doctor: My mobile got stuck in my vagina since last 4 days in
vibration mode.
Doctor: OK, I will remove this easily.
Girl: Just recharge the battery.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable-
supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur
heart!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 men went to fuck a girl.
1st came out after fucking a girl n said...
''My wife is better''
2nd went in ,fuck a girl... Came out n said...
''U were right, your wife is better..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In chemistry class teacher ask 2 a Girl. what is nitrate?
Girl(sharma k) sir,night rate Rs1500/ hotel k bhi aap pay karo gay.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How To Teach Mathmatics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello!Im a little alien called Kan.I have taken the form of a mobile
phone- your phone.And during this message I have been having sex with
your thumb!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I once had a ONE-2-ONE night with a VIRGIN.She teased me till i got an ERICKSON.sucked me till my face went ORANGE till i busted my load of SEIMEN over her NOKIAS.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 69 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks & sex appeal, remain silent & report 2 my bedroom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
American students say : people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone. Amitabh bachan in KBC
Question for 10 lac to Sardar jee
What is the colour of your wife's underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue
Sardar jee : Can i phone a friend?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a
woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a
demonstration?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So
open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX ! A girl for First the time was handling a boy's cock. After some time, some drops
came out, she asked wat's that? The boy said:Yeh Khushi ke AANSOO hai.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Niple niple little star ...can i suck you in my car ...up above the breast so
have...always milky never dry...let me touch it never shy...in the bra it
will be dry ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What is a kiss?
A: Very simple, its an enquiry at the top floor about the vacancy in the ground.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I went to the Madras,
I fucked a lady on the grass...
When I insert inch One,
She says its none...
When I insert inch Two
She says its few...
When I insert inch Three,
She says its free...
When I insert inch Four,
She says its i want more...
When I insert inch Five,
She says its just like a knife...
When I insert inch Six,
She says its fix...
When I insert inch Seven,
She says i m feeling in a heaven...
When I insert inch Eight,
She says its great...
When I insert inch Nine,
She says its hole of mine...
When I insert inch Ten,
She says are you a donkey or a man...
Submitted By : Syed Mohsin Ali, Submit
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex is like a restaurant, sometimes u get good service, sometimes bad service, sometimes no service and many times u hav 2 be happy wid self service.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If u hav 2 eggs between ur 2 legs u r a man but if u hav 4 eggs
between ur 2 legs don't think u r a superman someone is F**king u
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did u know meaning of WOMEN?
"W"ant
"O"ne
"M"an for
"E"very
"N"ight
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman married
a one legged man.
She wrote to her
mother:
"My husband only has
ONE FOOT".
Her Mother
replied:
"You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl to Doctor: My mobile got stuck in my vagina since last 4 days in
vibration mode.
Doctor: OK, I will remove this easily.
Girl: Just recharge the battery.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable-
supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur
heart!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 men went to fuck a girl.
1st came out after fucking a girl n said...
''My wife is better''
2nd went in ,fuck a girl... Came out n said...
''U were right, your wife is better..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In chemistry class teacher ask 2 a Girl. what is nitrate?
Girl(sharma k) sir,night rate Rs1500/ hotel k bhi aap pay karo gay.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How To Teach Mathmatics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite,
my lovely pyjamas
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed & lights off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY, DRINK A FROOTY.... TAKE HER TO OOTY, REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY..AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The most difficult golf course in the world is... "Women Hole" any
style you play... as many shots you try... & as much perfection you have... you
can never get your balls in...!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the closest thing to a woman's period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesn't come, everything's fucked
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but
when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 road signs which stands in front of a womans vagina....
1)Caution-dark tunnel. 2)Drive carefully-road wet n slippery. 3)Go slow.4) Men
at work
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Richman to poorman- "How-come ur penis so big? Poorman-replied:
"B'coz in my childhood i had no other toys to play"!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During sexual session the girl says: "u r like a mobile phone!"
Boy: "Do I vibrate a lot?"
Girl: "No,when u get in 2 d tunnel u loose network
Qus: Who is senior,
PENIS or VAGINA.
A:VAGINA
b'cos PENIS always stands up when he sees a VAGINA..So respect the seniors!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Wats d definition of a 'lesbian?' A: Just another damn Woman.....
tryin 2 do a man's job!!!.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Modern medicines: Fucknostat, Sexprazole, Sucksproxyvon, Hugglofnac,
Kisstopache, Spermicidin, Breastajin, Ejaculatomol, Vaginalgin, Penisciloc,
Orgasmofen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Similarity between Viagra & Rail reservation counter? Both make you
stand for 1 hour for a 2 minute job...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is a Gambling, Don't play with it
Guys get fun, Girls get blame
10 minutes of fun, 9 months of pain
Then a baby comes out without any name.
Enjoy it or think it before you do it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Peach is Peach, A Plum is Plum
A Kiss isn't a Kiss without some tongue
So Open your mouth, Close your eyes
and Give your tongue some exercise,.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite,
my lovely pyjamas.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed & lights off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY, DRINK A FROOTY.... TAKE HER TO OOTY, REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY..AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but
when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During sexual session the girl says: "u r like a mobile phone!"
Boy: "Do I vibrate a lot?"
Girl: "No,when u get in 2 d tunnel u loose network
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite,
my lovely pyjamas
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed & lights off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY, DRINK A FROOTY.... TAKE HER TO OOTY, REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY..AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The most difficult golf course in the world is... "Women Hole" any
style you play... as many shots you try... & as much perfection you have... you
can never get your balls in...!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the closest thing to a woman's period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesn't come, everything's fucked
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but
when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 road signs which stands in front of a womans vagina....
1)Caution-dark tunnel. 2)Drive carefully-road wet n slippery. 3)Go slow.4) Men
at work
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Richman to poorman- "How-come ur penis so big? Poorman-replied:
"B'coz in my childhood i had no other toys to play"!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During sexual session the girl says: "u r like a mobile phone!"
Boy: "Do I vibrate a lot?"
Girl: "No,when u get in 2 d tunnel u loose network
Qus: Who is senior,
PENIS or VAGINA.
A:VAGINA
b'cos PENIS always stands up when he sees a VAGINA..So respect the seniors!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Wats d definition of a 'lesbian?' A: Just another damn Woman.....
tryin 2 do a man's job!!!.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Modern medicines: Fucknostat, Sexprazole, Sucksproxyvon, Hugglofnac,
Kisstopache, Spermicidin, Breastajin, Ejaculatomol, Vaginalgin, Penisciloc,
Orgasmofen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Similarity between Viagra & Rail reservation counter? Both make you
stand for 1 hour for a 2 minute job...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is a Gambling, Don't play with it
Guys get fun, Girls get blame
10 minutes of fun, 9 months of pain
Then a baby comes out without any name.
Enjoy it or think it before you do it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Peach is Peach, A Plum is Plum
A Kiss isn't a Kiss without some tongue
So Open your mouth, Close your eyes
and Give your tongue some exercise,.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite,
my lovely pyjamas.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed & lights off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY, DRINK A FROOTY.... TAKE HER TO OOTY, REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY..AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but
when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During sexual session the girl says: "u r like a mobile phone!"
Boy: "Do I vibrate a lot?"
Girl: "No,when u get in 2 d tunnel u loose network
they really worked hard especially afridi done very well. If they continue we
can have another chance.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I like your style - I like your class - but most of all i like your ass!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love. HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job .
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Types of arse ...
(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!
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Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SEASON DHAMAKA OFFER
Send your girlfriend to me and win a baby
HURRY UP
First ten will get twins
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have orgasms during sex??? It gives them something to moan about even when they are fuc***g enjoyin themselves.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mobilink regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u. We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u not even a network.
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23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow" dont laff ladies?? UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts, who opens her heart receives love, who opens her legs receives happiness .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher asked "wot part of the body goes to heaven first?" A child replied "feet" - coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Peter Pumpkin eater had a wife & liked to beat her smacked her twice around da head F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.
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Sex is evil and evil's a sin. but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!
If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher asked "wot part of the body goes to heaven first?" A child replied "feet" - coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want triplets You want twins. Lets get in bed and see who wins!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is hard and long and full of semen? >>> Submarine <<<
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $$$ per minute.!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, da elephant looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask da naked man, 'HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
if u were a drum id bang u, if u were a pig id pork u, if u were a flower id root u, if u were a nail id screw u, but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A: A woman bcoz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.
A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do. MOM : Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thing. SON : got my nose in her armpit. Now what?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman's destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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